value our relationships in selling

My affirmation of intention this week is one that we ought never need reminding of, and yet as it came up in my diary it immediately put a smile on my face.  The affirmation is “I value my relationships.”

It doesn’t really matter whether you want to focus this affirmation of intention on work relationships, family or friends, because a truth that we all know is that our very humanity is about the depth of relationships we have.  That’s not to say the number of relationships – but the depth of relationships.

Let’s focus for the moment however on work, and let me ask you this question….

How much and in what way do you value your work relationships?

For those of us in sales, this is an extremely important question to consider.

I believe the people we meet and form relationships with, pick up on our truth.  I believe they get a sense of who we are and a sense of our intention.  They pick this up through a range of ways; our body language, tone of voice, words we choose, questions we ask and actions we take.

If you’ve seen me present at a conference or workshop you’ll know part of my favourite quote from Aristotle (which I often quote in my writing here as well because of its relevance to so much of our lives).  And part of the quote is that “our actions and our behaviours are our morals shown in conduct.”  In other words, people pick up on our morals, our beliefs, our truth.

Yep – fairly heavy as a topic, but important because we can’t escape it.

For that reason, coming back to my original statement that the value we place on our relationships ought not be something we need to be reminded of, paradoxically maybe it is good to remind ourselves how important our relationships are.

Here’s my challenge for you (as it is for me as I consider this affirmation of intention).  Answer these questions…..

1. Why do you value your relationships?

2. How do you value your relationships?

3. What might you do with a damaged relationship today to start to mend whatever caused it to fracture?

4. What might you do today to strengthen a relationship even more than you already have?

I know whenever I revisit these questions, magic tends to happen in ways that are often unexpected, but very welcomed.

Let me know how you go.

You may be familiar with my definition of selling as being a process of building trust relationships with the aim to create reciprocal value on a continual basis.  The central component of this defenition is trust.

My affirmation of intention for this week is that I am someone people can depend on….that means I am someone who they can place their trust and confidence in.

But what about when you let people down?  What does that say about you?

Recently I was shocked to learn that I had inadvertently emailed out to a portion of my SalesCoachCentral.com membership and all of these members’ email addresses appeared in the “To:” section of the email.

Back to Intention

Here’s the thing…..yes I stuffed up, and let some people down….but certainly not intentionally.

I immediately sent out an apology (this time correctly “blind copying” the email addresses), and the responses I received to reinforce their belief in my intention and my integrity was overwhelming.

Why tell you this?

One of the people who wrote back to me following my apology reminded me that it is in what we do after an event of unintentional mistake that demonstrates a person’s character.

As Aristotle has been quoted as saying “We are the sum of our actions….(and) our actions and our behaviours are our morals shown in conduct”.

In sales and relationships in general, there will potentially be mistakes made…..and it is what we do to mend the relationship that will speak louder about the degree too which people will continue to trust us than the mistake itself.

Let me know what you think.

What does it take to have true enthusiasm for something?  What happens when we are truly enthusiastic?  To what extent do you have enthusiasm for what you’re doing on a daily basis?  These are the questions I am pondering on this week.

One of my favourite quotes comes from Emmerson who said something like

“Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

Beyond Self Belief

I remember Ron Willingham, one of my long time mentors in life telling me about a conversation he once had with the late Dr. Maxwell Maltz – the author of Psychocybernetics.  Ron asked him what does it take to have true enthusiasm.  Maltz told him that you need to have two things.  The first was self belief.  A strong belief in who you are and what you stand for.  The second was a belief in the value you create for others when you do what you do.

As I write about my affirmation of intention for this week, I reflected on the last few days and realised that this affirmation is very timely for me.  It is so easy to become a little apathetic about all of the good in our personal situations.

Sure there are always concerns and things that just aren’t exactly as we would like them to be, but (and I’m certainly only speaking for myself here), I have so much to be enthusiastic about in life, it was a bit of a timely wake up call and reminder to me to remember to be enthusiastic.

Focus on the value we create for others

But it was thinking about what Max Maltz told Ron Willingham that got me charged up with enthusiasm this week……focusing on the value I create for others.

Another of my mentors is Dr. Joanna Martin and one of her key reminders for me is to have an expanded awareness and keep focused on our higher purpose.

I know that for some people reading this that having a higher purpose or a bigger intention isn’t necessarily something that ‘rocks their boat’.  What I do know though, is for those of us in sales especially, when our clients see our enthusiasm for wanting to create value for them (and not just being enthusiastic about winning the sale), this brings stronger levels of emotional and intellectual connection and builds trust.

I have so much to be enthusiastic about today, and as I reflect on my life, if I try hard enough, I could always find something to be enthusiastic about.

If you think this is all a bit ‘soft’ then I make no apologies, and simply challenge you to think about the truth behind the idea that people want to buy from people who are genuinely enthusiastic about making their clients lives and situations better.

I’m happy to take your feedback.

Our SalesCoachCentral members’ “My Sales Story” competition is generating some great stories with lessons for us all to learn from to help us win more new, repeat and referral sales.

Congratulations to our winners for this month who were Ross Clennett and Peter Donald.

Here’s the My Sales Story from Ross:

When I was a rookie temp accounting recruiter I took my Director on a prospect visit. It was to a well known freight company, near the Sydney airport, who I had found out were using a lot of accounting clerical temps.

The visit was with the GM of Finance. I prepared my sales structure and answers to predictable objections, hoping to impress my director. However once we were in his office the prospect proceeded to talk (complain, actually) non-stop for an hour about the office politics and his boss.

I barely got a chance to talk and as we had another meeting scheduled we had to leave promptly after an hour.

As we drove off I was rather flat about the meeting expecting my Director be criticise me for allowing the client to run the agenda. Suprisingly he thought the visit went very well. ‘Why?’ I asked. My Director replied “clearly he isn’t being heard inside his own company and needed an outlet to express all his frustration and resentment. We were that outlet today. I bet he feels we understand him and what he has to deal with each day.”

I have to say I was very dubious – I mean we hadn’t even talked about temps! However the next day I received a call from one of the GM’s direct reports saying she had been told to call me about two temp jobs she needed filling! I filled both those jobs and that was the start of a $100k plus net revenue per annum client.

That experience was a big lesson in understanding that until the prospect feels heard and understood all I was doing was ‘pitching to deaf ears’.

My Comment: The old adage of ‘no-one cares how much you know until they know how much you care’ is probably a bit overdone these days, but the reality is too many salespeople still go in with a ‘pitch’ to a potential client and ‘capability sell’, rather than focusing first on what the client might like to achieve from the meeting, and/or what the client might like to talk about.

At the same time, there is an equally large number of salespeople who do not really focus on the client and choose to ‘fluff’ around with small talk, when what the client actually wants to do is find out more about the products and services that the salesperson can provide.

If we’re truly client focused, we can work out fairly quickly how much talking and listening we need to do to create an environment where the client is comfortable and confident to make a wise buying decision.

Here’s the My Sales Story from Peter:

I was referred to a young couple by a principal of the firm. They were in a difficult financial position. Following the loss of his Dad his mother found it diffucult to meet the home loan left behind ( no insurance ). She offered her son a 25% share in her home if he would take over the debt, which he did. He then married and together they bought an investment unit in 3 names using the equity in Mums house.

They also had some personal debt for cars etc. All this caused stress on the relationships to meet payments and rent. I was able to reorganise their strucure after 3 home visits one of which I arranged they get Mum to attend on a weekend.

The end result was they reduced the no taxable debt quickly and allowed cash flow to relieve the stress. After another year of regular follow up they purchased a home using her mothers assistance. Late last year they had their first child. I also referred them to our Insuracne advisor who arrange appropriate covers for both of them to protect their child.

So referral, follow up and further follow up resulted in a succes story for all. We also now do their tax returns.

My Comment:  I love the way Peter points out that the result was a ’success story for all’.  Selling should never just be about the success of the sale.  The most successful salespeople I encounter are those who’s intention is to create value for their clients.  Their focus is to look for opportunities where their products and services can help people solve problems, meet needs and satisfy wants.

When clients pick up on our intention as being that of genuinely wanting to create value for them, trust is built and deeper emotional and intellectual connections are made.

More stories from members of SalesCoachCentral next month.

Much has been written about this concept of having an ‘extra mile’ philosophy, and most of us understand it. But practising it might just be something that those of us in sales need to consider more than others – especially if you agree with my defintion of selling.

Revisiting A Definition of Selling

You see, my definition of selling rests on the foundation of an extra mile philosophy.

The definition is this…..Selling is a process of building trust relationships with the aim to create reciprocal value on a continual basis.

If you’re a regular reader of my blog posts, have attended one of my programs or are a member of SalesCoachCentral.com, then you’ll be very familiar with this definition. If you’re not, then let me provide you with the reason why an extra mile philosophy is the foundation that holds this definition to be true, and if you are familiar with it, let me remind you of how important the extra mile philosophy is to helping you create environments where people feel comfortable and confident to make wise buying decisions.

What it really means to go the extra mile

Rather than start with the definition of selling, let’s start with a definition, or discussion at least, of what an extra mile philosophy is all about.

What if we miss doing what’s expected by the client in the pusuit of doing the ‘extra’? Going the extra mile, exceeding the expectations of clients has almost become a mantra through the nineties and the start of this century.

But here’s the problem.

If the client’s expectations haven’t at first at least been met, then there’s a danger that even when we go beyond their expectations, that they are still not satisified.

It’s a bit paradoxical…..we’re aiming to go the extra mile to demonstrate our value, but in doing so, we might actually reduce our value to the client. I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts that Andrew Banks, one of the founding directors of the Morgan & Banks Group in the nineties had a fantastic saying “Do the doable deal to earn the right to get the bigger bit of business”.

This has stuck with me throughout the building of my own business. My first aim is always to meet the client’s expectation by doing the doable deal – to meet their expectations and to help them with the thing that they need help with the most right now. Then it’s a case of working with them to discover the additional value that I can potentially create for them.

Beyond the ‘give-away’ and ‘add value’ culture

This is where the extra mile philosophy goes beyond just delivering some ‘give-away gift’ and calling it ‘adding value’. An extra mile philosophy is so much more than just ‘adding value’. An extra mile philosophy is based on a bigger intention of not just adding value, but looking for ways to create significant improvement above and beyond that which has already been delivered, and in ways that the client immediately recognises and experiences value that makes their individual and specific situation better.

A simple example is that I might send a client a copy of a book that I have read – and this might be an add value strategy.

What takes it to the next level of an ‘extra mile philosophy’ is the discussions we have together as to how I believe the contents of the book can help them improve their situation. Do you see the difference – one is a gesture that any process can deliver. The other is an intentional extra mile philosophy that can be demonstrated by simply asking the question…..when I do this added value strategy, how will this create more value for the client?

So…..are you just adding value……or are you adding value with an extra mile philosophy?

Let me know…