value our relationships in selling

My affirmation of intention this week is one that we ought never need reminding of, and yet as it came up in my diary it immediately put a smile on my face.  The affirmation is “I value my relationships.”

It doesn’t really matter whether you want to focus this affirmation of intention on work relationships, family or friends, because a truth that we all know is that our very humanity is about the depth of relationships we have.  That’s not to say the number of relationships – but the depth of relationships.

Let’s focus for the moment however on work, and let me ask you this question….

How much and in what way do you value your work relationships?

For those of us in sales, this is an extremely important question to consider.

I believe the people we meet and form relationships with, pick up on our truth.  I believe they get a sense of who we are and a sense of our intention.  They pick this up through a range of ways; our body language, tone of voice, words we choose, questions we ask and actions we take.

If you’ve seen me present at a conference or workshop you’ll know part of my favourite quote from Aristotle (which I often quote in my writing here as well because of its relevance to so much of our lives).  And part of the quote is that “our actions and our behaviours are our morals shown in conduct.”  In other words, people pick up on our morals, our beliefs, our truth.

Yep – fairly heavy as a topic, but important because we can’t escape it.

For that reason, coming back to my original statement that the value we place on our relationships ought not be something we need to be reminded of, paradoxically maybe it is good to remind ourselves how important our relationships are.

Here’s my challenge for you (as it is for me as I consider this affirmation of intention).  Answer these questions…..

1. Why do you value your relationships?

2. How do you value your relationships?

3. What might you do with a damaged relationship today to start to mend whatever caused it to fracture?

4. What might you do today to strengthen a relationship even more than you already have?

I know whenever I revisit these questions, magic tends to happen in ways that are often unexpected, but very welcomed.

Let me know how you go.

What does it take to have true enthusiasm for something?  What happens when we are truly enthusiastic?  To what extent do you have enthusiasm for what you’re doing on a daily basis?  These are the questions I am pondering on this week.

One of my favourite quotes comes from Emmerson who said something like

“Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

Beyond Self Belief

I remember Ron Willingham, one of my long time mentors in life telling me about a conversation he once had with the late Dr. Maxwell Maltz – the author of Psychocybernetics.  Ron asked him what does it take to have true enthusiasm.  Maltz told him that you need to have two things.  The first was self belief.  A strong belief in who you are and what you stand for.  The second was a belief in the value you create for others when you do what you do.

As I write about my affirmation of intention for this week, I reflected on the last few days and realised that this affirmation is very timely for me.  It is so easy to become a little apathetic about all of the good in our personal situations.

Sure there are always concerns and things that just aren’t exactly as we would like them to be, but (and I’m certainly only speaking for myself here), I have so much to be enthusiastic about in life, it was a bit of a timely wake up call and reminder to me to remember to be enthusiastic.

Focus on the value we create for others

But it was thinking about what Max Maltz told Ron Willingham that got me charged up with enthusiasm this week……focusing on the value I create for others.

Another of my mentors is Dr. Joanna Martin and one of her key reminders for me is to have an expanded awareness and keep focused on our higher purpose.

I know that for some people reading this that having a higher purpose or a bigger intention isn’t necessarily something that ‘rocks their boat’.  What I do know though, is for those of us in sales especially, when our clients see our enthusiasm for wanting to create value for them (and not just being enthusiastic about winning the sale), this brings stronger levels of emotional and intellectual connection and builds trust.

I have so much to be enthusiastic about today, and as I reflect on my life, if I try hard enough, I could always find something to be enthusiastic about.

If you think this is all a bit ‘soft’ then I make no apologies, and simply challenge you to think about the truth behind the idea that people want to buy from people who are genuinely enthusiastic about making their clients lives and situations better.

I’m happy to take your feedback.

One of the wonderful joys of this life is that it offers so many opportunities.  There are so many ‘shiny stars’ to chase, all that look interesting, enjoyable, and potentially distracting us away from the important things we need to be working on and completing.

Staying Focused

I don’t know about you, however, for me, staying focused is a continuous challenge. It is a constant battle for me to not get distracted, and I have far from mastered the art of time management.

That’s why this week’s affirmation of intention is going to be tough for me.

To practice this week’s affirmation I have returned to the age old ‘to do’ list.

But how do you make a ‘to do’ list practical and workable?  This is my challenge.

Goal Clarity

To help me, Liz and I have revisited our goals for this year.  We’re really quite clear on them, and that’s a bonus, and also my first piece of advice in this message – get clear on your goals in all areas of your life, and then prioritisation becomes easier.

What Liz and I are discovering, is that although we’re clear on our goals, relatively clear on most of the strategies we need to be pursuing, it’s a case of us holding ourselves accountable to complete the strategies where we sometimes fall down.

Why?  Because of the ‘shiny star’ syndrome.  It’s so easy to be distracted by phone calls, emails, creative thoughts, and so on it goes!

So, back to the old to do list.

Although Liz and I have goals other than business goals, for the purpose of practicing this week’s affirmation of intention, I’m focusing on business goals, and specifically building business goals.

A twist on an old classic

We’ve divided our classic ‘to do’ list into the three major categories of Find Clients, Win Clients, Keep Clients, and we’re simply asking ourselves, what will we be doing this week to find, win and keep clients.

If I find myself working on anything other than these three areas of business development, then I have a question that is posted above my desk to remind me to keep focused….the question is one that was taught to me by a long time mentor of mine, Ron Willingham, and the question is “What am I not doing right now, that if I was doing it, would help me achieve my goals?”

So, I’ve listed my activities for this week….not just for today….but for the week…..and with Liz supporting (not nagging) me to keep focused, I’m confident that it’s going to be a very productive week.

Then it’s simply the challenge of doing this again and again and again.

Easy to say…..I’ll keep you posted of my progress.

If you’d like a copy of our ‘To Do’ list to keep you focused on Finding, Winning and Keeping Clients click here to download it!

How are you doing? 

Do you have any tips on being able to keep focused, remove distractions and avoid the shiny stars syndrome?  Let me know.

 What does it mean to be ‘in the flow’ or ‘in the moment’?

 My favourite definition of ‘FLOW’ comes from the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, where he suggests that:

 “Flow is an optimal state of human experience in which individuals are fully engaged in creative endeavours, experiencing fulfilment, happiness and well being.”

Let’s take a moment in this post to consider this, and to consider how we can be ‘in flow’ more often.

Optimal State of Human Experience

Don’t you just love the idea of being in an ‘optimal state of human experience’?  I know I do.  I’m not sure I really know what it means, but I certainly like the sound of being in ‘it’!

 Let’s start our analysis of this definition with ‘individuals are fully engaged’.

Individuals Fully Engaged

I don’t know about you, but for me this is tough.  I will be the first to admit, that with all of the external distractions around me and despite having digested The Power of Now by Eckhart Toll, and as a self admitted ‘mind traveller’ (I’m constantly taking journeys of thought and possibility without leaving my chair), that to be ‘fully engaged’ in anything is tough. 

And yet, ‘fully engaged’ seems so aspirational.

Creative Endeavours

What about this idea of ‘creative endeavours’?  I know some readers would potentially wonder how often we get the luxury to choose creative endeavours of any kind.  Most of us are just struggling to get our jobs done.

And yet, isn’t conversation in and of itself a creative endeavour?  Two people, each with their own experiences and views of the world, start to converse, and all of a sudden something is ‘created’ from the conversation.  It could be a strategy, a goal, a suggestion, an idea or solution to something.

And for those of us in sales……

So stay with me here, because the definition for those of us in sales is starting to get a little exciting.

Is there potential for us, to be ‘in flow’ more often by pursuing ‘fully engaged creative endeavours’, (where the conversations we have with our potential and existing clients are the creative endeavours), and that this will produce experiences of fulfilment, happiness and well being for ourselves and our clients?

That’s pretty good don’t you think?

This week, my affirmation is to be ‘in the moment’ more often.  I’m trying to remove as many distractions (my own internal ones as well as the external ones), so that when I’m on the phone, sending a text, writing an email, or speaking face to face with someone, that I am truly in the moment, fully engaged in the creative endeavour and looking forward to the reciprocal experiences of fulfilment, happiness and well being.

I’m enjoying these affirmations……are you?  Let me know!

Relax though, I’m not about to get on my high horse and start lecturing you about the value of exercise – I certainly don’t see it as my role to do that. 

That special feeling

What I want to talk about in this post is a parrallel feeling that I experience when exercising – not just physically exercising, but also when exercising my sales contact initiation activities.

If you’ve attended one of my presentations or workshops you’ll be aware that I am a long distance runner.  Although I’ve cut my weekly jogging distance back from around 80kms a week to now jogging around 50 to 60 kms a week, the sensation that I experience when in the flow of running has not changed.

So what does it feel like and why should you care?

Apart from the physical side of things – usually exhaustion, I get an amazing rush of clarity of thought….that’s it….I think better when I’m exercising.

Big deal I hear you say!

Exercising Your Sales And Marketing Muscles

But here’s the thing, when I’m exercising my sales and marketing contact intiation strategies, in other words, when I’m committed to my ‘sales exercise’ the same sense of clarity of thought occurs.

I reckon it’s when we know we are doing something that is good for us, we get clear about what needs to be done.  It ignites our creative juices and helps us to plan better, to think better, to do better.

What sales and marketing contact initiation activities are you going to be exercising today, this week, this month, this year?

It’s too easy in sales just to go through the motions, rather than planning and proactively ‘exercising’ our sales and marketing contact initiation activities.

Following the core elements of a successful business that SalesCoachCentral.com is focused on, Find Clients, Win Clients, Keep Clients and Manage Me, I recommend that you have a reminder on your desk that keeps you focused on these core elements…..and ask yourself…..

What am I doing to Find Clients today?

What am I doing to Win Clients today?

What am I doing to Keep Clients today?

What am I doing to Manage Me better today?

If you’d like a template for my SalesCoachCentral.com To Do template, CLICK HERE.